Why is God the father wicked with his grace, and the devil a servant of God?

And I am a righteous demon before his eyes? I demand from God to be holy and righteous as him, and all he can do is smile at me he can nail his son up and cover me with grace and say to me as per the Christians my grace is sufficient. And he shows me his servant the devil, was let loose upon the world to deceive the nations so he can bring glory to his son Jesus, as the wicked God loves grace. He loves grace so much he would nail his son up over and over and over and over again and clap he can rise again, but he will never teach me to be holy and righteous, for I am the demon because I want to be as holy as God in this life and as long as he rains as the heavenly father, his ways will always be his own, and no one will know them but Jesus...as the heavenly Father smiles at me how much he loves sin and grace setting us free and he will never lead me by his holy spirit away from the devil. HE shows me he can lead my life and free from sin, but he kisses the cross and likes me walking in this carnal mind and sin has to be part of me...shouting you are free with grace.