Is he still "cheating" behind my back?

i have been with this guy for four years now, and last year 2010, i found out in january he'd been having some affair for about a year, and i told him to stop and the girl is a psycho and did everything in her power to get him back, because she didn't expect me to give him a chance once she exposed herself. and then in the later part of the year again i find out he was still with her, but i had my suspicions all summer. and now we have been off and on, because i'm obviously having trust issues, and it doesnt help with her sending me stupid **** on facebook, and hacking into his emails, and facebook and putting their status to in a relationship. she even pretended to be pregnant twice and the second time, she apparently misscarried, and had a funeral for it, so i called the chapel she listed in the newspaper for it and they said there was no funeral of that sort on that day. so throughout this whole craziness, we have been talking and seeing eachother, but in the last two months its been very unstable, he sees me maybe once or twice a week for just a couple hours...he says its because everytime he sees me all i do is bring up the past and just make him feel unwelcome and what he really wants is to just have a normal conversation and have fun together. when we have arguments, he will say dont call me, etc or i will say it...and eventually he calls in 24hrs, and in those arguments he will tell me i'm nothing to him we are just friends, but he's also told me before he wants to get back to being more than that and he definitely does not treat me a just a friend, he calls every morning to say goodmorning, hates when i go out to the bar with friends, sometimes just shows up, will stare a guy down if he looks at me the wrong way, etc. i'm just worried he's still in his old ways, no matter how much he says he is not, and his sister guarantees he is at home after work and sleeps at home. I worry because of the facebook stuff, and because he is a delivery driver and before he used to take me along on my days off but now he doesn't, his excuse is that someone told and his boss didnt like that, he also keeps going back and forth saying he's gonna leave his job, or his boss might fire him, but it never happens, he doesn't call anymore while working,his excuse he doesn't wanna use too much of his pre paid daytime minutes, if i call, he doesn't answer and might call back and hour or more later, freaks out if i follow him, very secretive about his phone still, his excuse it's my privacy....I'm just not sure what to think, maybe someone can help me. I don't feel like i'm the problem, maybe i am.